it wasn't lemon gatorade
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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