I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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