dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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