She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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