It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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