the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
