I cockslap morals
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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