Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
