if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize