I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
