Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
