put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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