Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
