There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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