WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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