like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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