She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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