i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
