I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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