you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
