I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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