Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
