do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
