I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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