He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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