There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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