On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
