I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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