I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize