im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
