hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
we're so committed to being not committed
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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