i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
