So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
