he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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