Sry I called you an 8
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
