Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
