I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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