I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
