Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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