i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I currently don't understand fingers.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
