My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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