Plan B is the new Plan A
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
