i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
