im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
