In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
there was a trapeze. enough said
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
