God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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