I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
