I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
