she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
