STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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