I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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