Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
