Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
