I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We are two peas in an std pod
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
