We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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