U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
