i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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