i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize