do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
