people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
