A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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