If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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