Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
