I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
