So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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