yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize