they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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