Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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