i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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