she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize