PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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