I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
