I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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