walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize