Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
